How do we raise our children to have strong and healthy relationships? Is it okay to argue in front of our children? These are difficult questions that parents are faced with regularly.
Lucille Williams is the author of numerous books. She's also a national speaker and has ministered to families and couples for over 25 years.
She says that a healthy solid relationship starts at home.
"They're watching us," said Lucille. "The first relationship that our children have is with us," said Lucille.
Lucille says to help our children figure things out we need to be able to own the stuff that they see.
"Like, you know, when they see that something happened and you weren't your best self that day, they see it, and if they've got siblings, they're talking about it with their siblings. You can guarantee that. And so you need to get in on that conversation and take responsibility."
When it comes to arguing in front of children, Lucille says it's vital to allow children to see the end result, which is resolution.
"Sometimes people get married and have never seen their parents argue. Then they get into a tiff with a spouse, and they're freaking out. Like, that's it. The marriage is over because, you know, mom and dad were just really strategic about always having those, you know, conflicts behind closed doors."
"If they saw the argument, they got to see the resolution, or they heard about the resolution, which is so important."
The most important piece of advice that Lucille offers is to seek out help when needed.
"Getting help for you is getting help for your kids, and if you recognize this is an issue in my life and I need to go take care of this, and we take steps to get ourselves help, then it shows our kids that we're not perfect and we need help too."
Today on Connections, she gives us some tips and advice on how we can use our marriage to help our children build strong relationships in the future.